Sasquatch Hiking Club Tri-Blend Shirt

You can’t live in the Pacific Northwest without tripping over a Bigfoot story—or at least some guy in Carhartt who looks like one from behind. And honestly? Maybe we’ve had it wrong all along. Maybe Sasquatch isn’t “hiding.” Maybe he just took one look at modern life—traffic, Wi-Fi passwords, HOA fees—and said, “Nope. Trees only. Forever.” Think about it: a whole tribe of giant, hairy freeloaders who decided not to evolve with the rest of us. No emails, no taxes, no awkward work potlucks. Just moss, rivers, and the occasional hiker they scare into thinking they discovered “evidence.” (Spoiler: that wasn’t a footprint—it was last night’s mud spa treatment.) And if we actually accepted them for who they are? They’d probably stop hiding. You’d have Bigfoot leading guided hikes, opening kombucha breweries, maybe even running for mayor of Portland. But until then, they’ll keep rolling with their “lost tribe of nope” vibe—choosing bark over broadband, and trail mix over TikTok. The Sasquatch Hiking Club: membership is mandatory if you’ve ever gotten lost in the woods and blamed it on “he must’ve moved the trail.”