This is my PYROTECHNICIAN shirt

Some people see fireworks. You see science. This shirt is for the bold, the brave, and the slightly singed. It lets the world know that while others are busy “oohing” and “ahhing,” you’re out here calculating blast radii and questioning whether you need more duct tape. Wearing this guarantees: Instant credibility as the person who “knows what they’re doing” (even if you don’t). A free pass to yell “CLEAR!” before lighting anything. At least one person asking if this is “even legal.” Perfect for backyard displays, midnight experiments, and explaining that, yes, you totally meant for it to do that. Wear it proudly—just try to keep your eyebrows intact.