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Are traditional greeting cards just not meeting your needs? Do you need something with a little more snark and gloom? When Hallmark cards are too wholesome, come to Crustacean Salutations and find the perfect message of bitter misanthropy for your loved (or unloved) ones! Tell them how you really feel.

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"I have to get out of here" shovel shirt (dark)
"I have to get out of here" shovel shirt (dark)
Sale Price $36.64. Original Price $43.10.
DAYS ARE BAD mug
DAYS ARE BAD mug
Price$31.90
Cold, Dark, & Salty Mug
"You light up my life" anglerfish shirt
"You light up my life" anglerfish shirt
Sale Price $40.93. Original Price $48.15.
"Ask me about my shirt" [extra meta version] T-Shirt
"Ask me about my shirt" [extra meta version] T-Shirt
Sale Price $37.40. Original Price $44.00.
"Ask me about my shirt that says, " [dark colour]
"Ask me about my shirt that says, " [dark colour]
Sale Price $37.40. Original Price $44.00.
"You light up my life" deep sea valentine Holiday Card
"You light up my life" deep sea valentine Holiday Card
Sale Price $4.13. Original Price $5.50.
"Good thing we found each other!" (FF) Valentine Holiday Card
"Good thing we found each other!" (FF) Valentine Holiday Card
Sale Price $4.05. Original Price $5.40.
"I have to get out of here" shovel shirt (dark)
Save 15%
"I have to get out of here" shovel shirt (dark)
Sale Price $36.64. Original Price $43.10.
Find love at CrustaceanSingles.com t-shirt (light)
Save 15%
Find love at CrustaceanSingles.com t-shirt (light)
Sale Price $30.01. Original Price $35.30.
"Ask me about my shirt that says, " [dark colour]
Save 15%
"Ask me about my shirt that says, " [dark colour]
Sale Price $37.40. Original Price $44.00.
Cold, Dark, & Salty Mug
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